Another day another lesson
Jun 17th, 2009 by brady
Since graduating college, I’ve consistently and persistently wanted to leave Utah. Not because I think it’s a bad place. Not because I don’t like it here. Not for any reason other than that I’ve wanted to go out and try new places. Explore. Find adventure.
Additionally, it always occurred to me that opportunities for higher income jobs were greater outside Utah, not to mention a social makeup more in line with what I wanted.
Ex Mrs Portico never shared my vision. So we stayed. She did however concede that if I got a job worth moving for, we could.
So I looked. And applied. And tried to get any job any where.
What always troubled me was the thought that nobody would want to talk to me because I didn’t live there already. Let alone hire me. Why wouldn’t they go local?
The outcome always seemed to answer my questions quite clearly. Out of the 100-200 jobs outside Utah I’ve applied to over the years I’ve had maybe 3 interviews. One did turn into a job, so it hasn’t been a complete loss.
Unfortunately, as I continue to seek employment in other cities in other states, the the thought still troubles me: did so many companies not call me because I was out of state?
Or was it because they weren’t interested.
While at brunch the other day with a group of twitter folks, I met a guy who was leaving Salt Lake to start a job he had just accepted in San Francisco. He didn’t live there when he was hired. In fact, he admitted it wasn’t really on his list of places to move to. But he got the job.
Hearing him speak made me start thinking of all the people I’ve met over the years who were offered and accepted positions in states they didn’t live in. The number was staggering.
It dawned on me, job searches, like dating, like friendships, all come down to one simple, universal truth: if someone is interested they will make contact, if they’re not, they won’t.
If a girl wants to be with you, she will make an effort.
If your friends want to hang out with you, they will call you.
If an employer is impressed, they will bring you in for an interview.
Whether it’s a band trying to get heard, a writer trying to get her book published, or a hack trying to get a job, if people are interested, they will engage.
I always wondered what would happen when I no longer worked at my last place of employment. The people I worked with had become my entire social network. Would that disintegrate, as I predicted, because I no longer worked there, or had I finally found friends who would stay with me through countless years, relationship statuses, and life struggles. Basically, would they remain friends when the pressure of proximity was no longer present?
The old axiom states out of sight, out of mind.
Judging by the number of road trips, parties, gatherings, and engagements I haven’t been invited to, I guess the answer is pretty clear.
Out of sight, out of mind.
Just like the job search, which now enters its 7th month of unemployment, the same sobering lesson applies, when people are interested they will call you, when they’re not, they won’t.
I saw it time and time again when I was dating (before I gave up). I saw it in my marriage. I see it now in my general life. It’s in every thing we do.
I guess when it all comes down to it, I still don’t know if my not living in these cities is making the difference in whether I get calls for interviews or not, but I have to now believe it’ doesn’t. Let’s face it, it’s not like I’m getting calls in Salt Lake either.
As in the job search, as in dating, as in friends, when people want to be in your life or hear what you have to say, they will put forth the effort necessary to hear it, when not…well, you get the picture.
So I guess the answer for moving forward is rewriting my resume, being grateful for the friends and family I have, and, ultimately, becoming a completely different person. A person whom people don’t feel being around is a completely insufferable endeavor. Or at the very least, becoming a person who is not completely invisible.
And I guess keeping the dream alive that one day it will all not be such a futile battle.














